Most men who have been victimized by an intimate partner feel as if they are forced to live a life of secrecy. These men remain silent because of a variety of reasons, including stigma, fear, isolation, and what may appear to be a lack of supportive services.
Domestic violence includes a mental component that makes it shrouded in deception, shame, and humiliation; making it extremely difficult to detect, accept, and even more challenging to seek assistance after victimization. Some perceptions of masculinity suggest men cannot be victims, vulnerable, or should not have a reasonable fear of injury or death. These misconceptions fortify the abusers objectives of violence, domination, and control.
While the thought of revealing and reliving painful experiences may seem to be a daunting task, remaining silent could have fatal consequences. Thousands of men report being abused, and fortunately there are service providers that ensure that men are treated with the same dignity, compassion, and respect as all victims of crime.
The first step in safely gaining freedom and receiving adequate support is to seek services from an agency that specializes in domestic violence prevention and intervention from a behavioral perspective – not gender-based. Abuse is abuse no matter the gender of the victim or perpetrator.
The following organizations are resources to report abuse, to identify supportive services, to develop preventative and intervention strategies, and to ascertain initiatives you can join to empower victims and survivors, dismantle myths that glorify violence against women and girls, and to eradicate the vicious cycles of domestic violence in all communities:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
24/7 Confidential Support
1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224
Men Stopping Violence
Men Stopping Violence is a national training institute that provides organizations, communities, and individuals with the knowledge and tools required to mobilize men to prevent violence against women and girls.
A Call To Men
Works to create a world where all men and boys are loving and respectful and all women and girls are valued and safe.
Help fathers and children connect, raise awareness of the need for positive father involvement, and educate men and women about the importance of healthy father-child relationships
Connect – Safe Families, Peaceful Communities
CONNECT is dedicated to preventing interpersonal violence and promoting gender justice. By building partnerships with individuals and communities, CONNECT strives to help change the beliefs, behaviors and institutions that perpetuate violence.
Men Can Stop Rape
Mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men’s violence against women.
Helping men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.
Committed to preventing, healing, and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men.
Purple REIGN Social Services
Victim/survivor empowerment services, preventative strategies, sensitivity training, seminars, capacity building, and engaging men to prevent, counter, and eradicate violence.
National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse Resources and Tools
This section includes information and resources, including: Partnerships with Domestic Violence Prevention Organizations; Guiding principles for parting agencies; protocols to guide service delivery; staff training; education and awareness building; engaging men as allies; and helpful resources.
Since 2007 the NRFC has provided technical assistance webinars to support responsible fatherhood practitioners in working to address domestic violence, including building partnerships and working with fathers.
NRFC Domestic Violence Resources Page
Relationships full of control are out of control. Domestic violence is a crime that betrays love, ends trust, and destroys lives. Love is patient, kind, empowering, and nurturing; not intimidating, demanding, abusive, violent, or deadly.
Asia D. Smith has been appointed by Governor Chris Christie to the New Jersey Domestic Violence Fatality & Near Fatality Review Board, as well as the Governor’s Advisory Council Against Sexual Violence. She also serves as an Advisory Member of the Trauma & Resiliency Institute of Rutgers University, Newark, and heralded as an NJ Hero by First Lady Mary Pat Christie.